It's Friday the 13th.
Don't go in the woods. Stay out of the abandoned mental hospital. If your car breaks down, do not walk to that nearby Gothic mansion for help.
All of this applies doubly if you are a popular jock, cheerleader, or on the run from shady men looking for that suitcase you picked up by mistake.
Are you wearing jean cutoffs? Don't. (Trust us on this.)
You need to find a nice, well-kept public place. One with a ready supply of good food and drink, so you can stay a while. Also, the people there should be friendly, devoid of radiation-melted features, and have arms that end in hands, not sickles, knives, or any other edged weapons.
We'll give you more advice later, we just need to find out why a child's haunting laughter is coming from the old well out back.